Wedding realities
I’ve started to realize that certain wedding topics are much more blogable than others. It’s easier to write about flowers and wedding dresses than it is to write about wedding costs and expectations. That’s why I’m going to make an effort to share some of the real thoughts that are floating through my head. For as fun as wedding planning is, it can also be a time of clashing opinions, financial tension, guilt and guest lists.
So far my fiancée and I have been lucky. The only major obstacle we’ve had to overcome was over the Save the Date. My mom didn’t feel it was necessary to send them out. We disagreed. After a few days of back and forth snapping we compromised. M and I will send Save the Dates to our friends and the Chicago guests. My mom will not send them out. Fine. However, now that the time is getting closer to sending them out, I’m starting to understand perhaps why my mom so strongly objected in the first place. It really forces you to decide who exactly makes the A list. There are a few people I am on the fence with. If they don’t get a Save the Date, through word of mouth they’ll know they’re not invited. Am I ready to give up these friendships? Will it in fact signal the end of the friendship? My mom would rather wait before any bridges are burned. She figures her good friends know the details anyway.
M and I are also extremely luckily that so far there hasn’t been family financial tension. We’re both conscious that weddings aren’t cheap and we’re lucky to have parents who are willing to foot the bill. We’re also lucky that our parents get along. I’ve heard horror stories of relationships between in-laws that are torn to pieces over wedding costs. My mom assured me that she and my father would never allow such a predicament to occur. And I do believe her. When it comes to wedding costs, that old Jewish guilt is doing a job on my insides. I wish I could pay for part of it- which my parents think is insane.
In addition, it’s pretty common these days to hear peers complaining about wedding costs. I do it just as much as the next person. The travel, the gifts, the attire- attending a wedding is no cheap feat. As a bride and frequent wedding attendee, I’m living all sides of the wedding experience. For additional moaning and groaning I defer to an editorial in the Aug. 20 New York Times.
So far my fiancée and I have been lucky. The only major obstacle we’ve had to overcome was over the Save the Date. My mom didn’t feel it was necessary to send them out. We disagreed. After a few days of back and forth snapping we compromised. M and I will send Save the Dates to our friends and the Chicago guests. My mom will not send them out. Fine. However, now that the time is getting closer to sending them out, I’m starting to understand perhaps why my mom so strongly objected in the first place. It really forces you to decide who exactly makes the A list. There are a few people I am on the fence with. If they don’t get a Save the Date, through word of mouth they’ll know they’re not invited. Am I ready to give up these friendships? Will it in fact signal the end of the friendship? My mom would rather wait before any bridges are burned. She figures her good friends know the details anyway.
M and I are also extremely luckily that so far there hasn’t been family financial tension. We’re both conscious that weddings aren’t cheap and we’re lucky to have parents who are willing to foot the bill. We’re also lucky that our parents get along. I’ve heard horror stories of relationships between in-laws that are torn to pieces over wedding costs. My mom assured me that she and my father would never allow such a predicament to occur. And I do believe her. When it comes to wedding costs, that old Jewish guilt is doing a job on my insides. I wish I could pay for part of it- which my parents think is insane.
In addition, it’s pretty common these days to hear peers complaining about wedding costs. I do it just as much as the next person. The travel, the gifts, the attire- attending a wedding is no cheap feat. As a bride and frequent wedding attendee, I’m living all sides of the wedding experience. For additional moaning and groaning I defer to an editorial in the Aug. 20 New York Times.
posted by TLK @ 9:45 AM
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