Total buzz kill

With a few minutes before our teleconference was scheduled to begin, my boss and I began chit-chatting with our D.C. colleagues on the video screen. We touched upon all the typical pre-meeting topics: the weather and our workload. And then my boss let the group know I’d just celebrated my 27th birthday. Through the video screen I can see their eyebrows rise and almost in unison, two, 50-ish year old women tell me that 27 was the best year of their lives. I tell them that I expect 27 to be a wonderful year for me too – I’m getting married in June!

With that, I see blank stares. Followed by a cynical laugh from colleague x, “Tori, glad to see you’re so optimistic. Ha. Ha.”

Why does the topic of marriage always elicit so many weird responses from people? Obviously she got screwd...

Rather annoyed by her comment, I just shrug and give some pathetic answer like, “Well, uhh, I’m excited.”

“Well, I hope you’re getting a pre-nup, Tori,” colleague x tells me. “You know, all ‘sophisticated’ young professionals are getting pre-nups these days. There’s just too much at risk.”

“Yeah, I got a pre-nup,” colleague y chimes in. “I’ve been married for 29 years now so I can probably tear that sucker up!”

The conversation between x and y goes back and forth and all the while I can’t help but feel that the status of whether or not I’m getting a pre-nup is slightly inappropriate for a work conference call. I’m not getting a pre-nup. If I did it would read something like, “In the case of a divorce, Tori’s sacred baby blanket belongs only to Tori; with no visitation rights permitted.”

Members of my book club found this story particularly entertaining. Unfortunately it led to everyone telling depressing stories and facts about love and marriage. Supposedly after 5 years with the same person a hormone changes in your body and you no longer feel as passionate about your partner. This is not what I want to hear right now! Please, just let me be a bride…